Last winter school was called off because of snow. I remember Samuel and I rolled out some drawing paper on the dining room table and pulled out every drawing utensil we could find. We both got to work drawing. Samuel was working on some hybrid-dinosaur creature that was half fact, half fiction. I was drawing a female Tsintaosaurus, something you only know of if you have a 5 year-old boy living in your house. We took a break to investigate each other’s work and Samuel got upset. I remember he took a marker and put a big X through his drawing.  He told me that he couldn’t draw as well as I could and that his drawing was bad. It was the first time I remember observing him experience self-criticism and I remember feeling a pang of sadness and wanting him to know just how perfect his drawing was.

I love watching Samuel draw. He works deliberately, without hesitation. That kind of intuition and confidence is hard to come by as an artist. I’ve learned a lot about my artistic practice from working along side Samuel. He reminds me to trust myself.

Much of my personal work investigates story. I’m interested in the power our stories have to give us direction and meaning and to help us make sense of the world. I find it exciting and terribly frightening to think that Samuel will take the stories I give him and will learn to make something of this world. I hope, I pray that the stories I give him are true and good and worth holding onto. But I want Samuel to know that his stories will and are shaping me as well.

These are some of the things I was thinking about when I was working on these paintings. When you ask Samuel what he was thinking, he seems confused by the question... “When I made the Pterodactyl I wasn’t really thinking about much. I was just wanting to draw a dinosaur and I like these drawings a lot. I love what you did with my drawings too, mom, especially the color. I love the color.”

Samuel and Erin Shaw

October 2012